清晨在淚水中醒來，去年此時的震驚依舊。夢中場景是一個房間，媽媽拿出一些手稿細數過去，我撇過頭不忍直視，表情扭曲糾結，突然聽到這首歌... 又是一個炎熱的夏天，窗外工地吵雜，人車來來去去，妳在那邊還好嗎？
今天推薦 Dan Hill：Sometimes When We Touch (1975 / 1994)
...
從未想過家中會發生這樣的事，尤其是發生在妳身上，不知道為什麼至今我仍深感內疚，總覺得該離開的應該是我... 這一年我過得很"飄"，"世界"好像隔著一層紗，少了彩度與明度。別擔心，我當然知道是怎麼回事，正努力在接受中對抗生命，在漸漸失去焦距的目光中找回視野...
我對數字不太敏感，始終不習慣"家中少了一個人"是什麼感覺。其實我對"家"也不太敏感，雖然我們(家)這輩子總是聚少離多。有一回我在超市看到一個好看的瓷碗，竟不知不覺隨手拿了四個裝進籃子，在那瞬間我意識到這個數字的荒謬，一個缺角的圓，一個連打麻將都湊不齊一桌的奇怪畫面。我站在那裡許久，彷彿被種在地上，"家"的歷史與"家"的未來同時浮現，就在我猶豫是否應該放回一個的時候，一股很奇怪的力量讓我笑了出來... 我還是買了四個。
...
不知道夢中為什麼會出現這首歌，也許我記得妳也喜歡，在那個還是"四"的時候...
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
*And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
留言列表
