總是這樣:為了把日益增加的書放回書架,我必須把原本放在書架上的 CD 搬進衣櫥;為了放進這幾百張 CD,我必須先將衣櫥裡的雜物放進抽屜;為了放這些雜物,我發現還是必須先清理抽屜... 抽屜內有一堆不知道該怎麼收拾的"歷史",其中還包括幾本相簿... 

今天推薦法國 Aznavour:Yesterday When I was Young (1961/2008)

...

人類歷史曾經有一段時間,在數位化之前,照片是需要被"沖洗"出來的... 一張張被放進小冊子裡,拿在手上,伴隨著溫度與指紋,泛黃的色澤保存某種"想像的"時間... 照片中的場景有些歷歷在目,有些則較模糊,有些則是被"告訴"的... 看到自己的"小時候",有一種不知如何"相認"的感覺...

"這就是我",我不斷提醒自己,順便想像著當時的場景... 從照片中認出自己是奇妙的事,彷彿時間突然中斷,剝奪了"認識的基礎"...

...

我決定把這些照片"數位化"存檔,掃描後放在"雲端",雖然我不知到我的"雲端"到底在哪裡。是台北某一棟大樓的某一層嗎?或是在美國某處機房的某個伺服器中的某一片硬碟的某一軌?... 總之是一個你不得不相信它不會憑空消失的地方... 就這樣片段零碎地,儲存著我的歷史...  

 

 

這是一首有年紀的法文歌,有年紀不是因為歌詞,而是旋律,一聽就有一種感傷的法國情調。歷年來有許多英文翻唱,有男有女... 不知為何,女聲唱來是一種淒涼,而男聲唱來則是孤單... 

終於順利把書放回書架上了...

... 

Yesterday when I was young     當我年輕時
The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue     生命如同舌尖落下的甜美雨滴
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game     我把玩著生命如同把玩一場愚蠢的遊戲
The way the evening breeze may tease the candle flame     也如同晚風吹來挑動著燭光    

The thousand dreams I dreamed     曾有過無數夢想
The splendid things I've planned     曾計畫無數偉業
I always built, alas, a weak and shifting sand     我總是幻想著虛無與漂浮
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day     過著日夜顛倒紙醉金迷的日子    
And only now I see how the years ran away     如今我才發現歲月已逝

Yesterday when I was young     當我年輕時
So many lovely songs were waiting to be sung     許多情歌圍繞著我
So many wayward pleasures lay in store for me     許多任性的樂子也圍繞著我    
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see     我驕傲的目光拒絕接受痛苦

I ran so fast the time and youth at last ran out     我不斷追求但青春已遠離
I never stopped to think what life was all about     我不曾停下腳步想想生命
And every conversation I can now recall     我所能想起的
Concerned itself with me, and nothing else at all     都只是我自己

Yesterday the moon was blue     昨日的月夜強說愁    
And every crazy day brought something new to do     瘋狂的日子帶來新鮮事物
I used my magic age as if it were a wand     如仙女棒一般揮霍歲月    
I never saw the waste and emptiness beyond     卻看不到揮霍背後的空虛

The game of love I played with arrogance and pride     我驕傲自大玩著愛情遊戲    
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died     風光來得快去得也快
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away     朋友漸漸遠離
And only I am left on stage to end the play     我獨自在舞台上  直到劇終

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung     我生命中仍有未唱的歌    
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue     我仍感受到舌尖眼淚的苦味
The time has come for me     如今
To pay for yesterday     這就是昨日的代價
When I was young     當我年輕時

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