吳小毛的境象劇場

"家是講愛的地方，不是講道理的地方"... 前陣子柯文哲在主持婚禮時說了這句話，簡單直白、幽默內行。雖然談情說愛未必蠻橫無理，但"家"若只剩道理可說，那也就不必住在一起了...

想到這首 Billy Joel：Just The Way You Are (1977 / 2006) 

...

這事說來簡單但卻不容易，因為家中的"愛"經常以"道理"的形式出現，尤其是日子久了... 當愛情變成柴米油鹽的日常生活，當浪漫變成刻意營造的多餘，原本不是毛病的都成了"毛病"，據理力爭的結果就算贏了，也是兩敗俱傷的輸家。

彷彿一輩子的功課，遊走在"真實的感受"與"想像中的道理"之間... 這是清官難斷的家務事，一個是"人"的權力，一個是"角色"的義務，兩者互為因果成就彼此，互相挑釁也互相包容，但嚴格說來，一個家如果沒有愛，再多的道理也是無言。 

...

...

常有一種感覺，人因為搞不定自己，才會想去搞定別人，因為擺不平自己，只好去擺平別人；人因無法給自己交代，才會要求別人給個交代，因為無法對自己負責，才會要求別人負責... 人總是希望通過挑剔別人的問題，來解決自己的問題... 這是世上紛爭的來源：不敢面對自己。

"抱怨"是一個關鍵性的念頭，讓人在否定中覺醒，也讓人輕易放過自己，卻有如潘朵拉的盒子，一旦開啟就回不去了，因為會發現"值得"抱怨的事越來越多... 有人用"莫忘初衷"來提醒自己， 也好，但其實這是一句廢話，如果"初衷"要用這種方式來自我安慰，也許早就該忘了。

...

也許愛情就像鹽巴，讓食物增添滋味，卻不能直接拿來吃，而家就是餐盤...

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.