整理一下部落格的檔案,裡面有一百多首還沒播的曲子,也有一百多篇寫了一半的文章,而且越積越多。覺得很安心。這些東西夠我寫一陣子了... 也許可以寫一輩子...
今晚推薦一首情歌 Air Supply:All Out Of Love (1980)
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今天有同學問我:藝術家都很敏感,他們要處理這麼多細微的感覺會不會很辛苦,而我又是如何辦到?... 哇,這真是最大的恭維。我從來就不是藝術家,而且離我心中真正的"藝術家"還很遠很遠,這三個字永遠被我放在外面,一種"彷彿若有光"的仰望、無止境的孤單前行。不過這到是個好問題,讓我整理自己這些年所關注的軌跡...
從建築到音樂,從劇場到哲學,我只能說"吾少也賤,故多能鄙事"... 如果藝術在我身上有一點點作用,那應該不是我做過的鄙事有多少,而是我"夠賤"。
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藝術不是"會了才做"的事,而是"做了才會"的事,這點我倒是身體力行得很徹底,雖不至樣樣專精,但大概都超過一萬小時。總是"夠賤",所以好奇;總是好奇,所以愛玩,而且要玩就玩得徹底,玩得徹底才會發現真正好玩之處,那些玩給別人看的東西,一下子就玩完了... 只有"夠賤",才會一直玩下去。
雖然如此,"創作"是很殘酷的實際問題,跟年紀有關,跟身體狀況與現實條件有關,不必勉強。此時的我,雖然偶爾敲敲打打樂器,雖然偶爾塗塗抹抹造型,但越來越清楚,我漸漸鍾情於文字... 前幾天寫了一篇關於"作文"的短文,提到"文字是在有限的語言邏輯中創造無限思維",就是這個意思。
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我享受著"一句話被我修改十幾次"的樂趣,如同標點符號,我也享受"一個概念被我推敲十幾次"的寫法。思緒在手指與鍵盤之間"成形",我在文字堆砌中捕捉"瞬間即逝"的意思...
我常比喻藝術就是愛情,那種趣味不是精準的"獲得"什麼(否則一但追到手就結束),也不是吵吵鬧鬧的亮麗炫耀,更沒有事後諸葛的分析,而是一種若即若離的追逐拉扯,彷彿若有光的吸引,在反覆琢磨中成就彼此。
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Well, 希望你喜歡這裡。這是我家,我的作品。
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I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know
*I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Oh, what are you thinking of ?
What are you thinking of ?
Oh, what are you thinking of ?
What are you thinking of ?
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